I wouldn’t consider myself very physically affectionate. I like to hug and kiss family and close friends, but I’m not the kind of person who’s going to kiss you hello or goodbye or give you a huge hug five minutes after we’ve met. However, I’m starting to rethink this practice after 3 months of living in Palestine. Men hold hands or link arms while walking down the street (unlike in the States, this does not indicate a romantic relationship) and women may kiss a friend they haven’t seen in a while or one they just saw the day before.

Last week, I had a great day hanging out with a colleague: she invited me to her house for lunch and even took me out for nargileh afterwards. We talked for a long time. She was so warm and such a good listener; I can tell she is going to be one of my allies. So yesterday was the faculty meeting and I hadn’t seen my friend all week. I walked up to her while she was speaking to another colleague, said hello and gave her a quick pat on the back. But then she gave me a kind of strange look and there was an awkward couple of seconds that I couldn’t put my finger on. Later, I realized “Duh, she was expecting you to give her a kiss on the cheek!”

And now I feel like Jerry Seinfeld perseverating on something very banal: What should I do next time? Should I go in for the hug or will she be expecting a kiss on the cheek? Can I ever do the back rub/pat again or is that completely off the table?

Maybe living here will have me giving out hugs and kisses more liberally. Or maybe it won’t. We shall see.